Self Esteem

I have self esteem and depression issues. Not to the extent of needing medical help, generally as long as I can find someone to talk to its okay.

But some times I can’t. It’s moments like these that I wish I was dating someone. So that I had someone who’s JOB is to always be there. Is that selfish and self centered? Pretty sure that’s a definition.

But, hey, at least I can admit it.

I’ve also gained weight. To be fair, I have never been small. Under my current layer of fat- surprisingly limited to my stomach- is so I’d muscle. Unless I want to try to atrophy my muscles on purpose, I will never be itty-bitty.

But some days I just don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to see anyone. And I want to work out, but I don’t want anyone to see me.

Now that, that’s a bit weird. I wish I knew why. I wish I had someone to really talk to and maybe understand me.

Can we also make him tall and attractive? Blue eyes maybe? And in shape?

What are your thoughts and advice? How do you get through the down times?